Be careful with her. She’s more fragile than she seems.
I don’t think I ever let on to my husband, friends and family how depressed I am. That’s on my worst days I always feel I don’t belong here anymore. That I am internally tearing and screaming at myself all day everyday. That the smallest thing can make me feel, like everything is crumbling down around me. I always say I’m going to get help. I want help. My hands can’t pick up the phone to get the help I need. Most days I can’t distinguish between wether I convinced myself I don’t need to or just sheer laziness and willing to let myself sink back into my hole.
Hobbies, smoking, traveling, drinking at fun parties with friends, being excited about any accomplishment can’t get me to feel better. My body is always sending signals of “you are slowly eating yourself away. One day you’ll be nothing. Stop hurting me”
I’m lost without a defined path for myself.
- Person: What are your hobbies?
- Me: read historical fiction books and watching period dramas.
- Person: What
- Me: What